Lame

Today I experienced something totally lame. BTW - I have no idea who that baby is but it cracks me up because that's how I felt. At work today we had an ice cream meet and greet for our summer clerks. Yes, an ice cream social. Perhaps it doesn't help that our resident "coordinator" (I use the term loosely because my dog can coordinate a garbage party before she'd do anything creative) is the size of a pencil. Whatever. So when I think of an ice cream social, it's more of a sundae with toppings galore kind of event. Right?! NOPE. Here's what we had: one container of mint chocolate chip ice cream, one container of frozen yogurt, one box of fruit popsicles, one box of MINIATURE ice cream sandwiches, one box of Snickers ice cream bars and one box of Nutty Butty ice cream cones. THAT WAS IT. Her reason for having a small quantity of items that I would have in my freezer if I wanted to be the size of Texas: "Sundae's are too messy". Really and what part of it would you clean up? None because you'll go home at 2:00 like you do every day and feed your dogs or whatever.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I decided that one Friday after work (either the end of July or beginning of August) I'm going to have an ice cream social and invite co-workers and non co-workers. There will be so much junk to put on an ice cream, everybody will leave here so sick and full. Big girl here would like to show people how it's done.

Blah blah

I've worked in the office environment for over 10 years. I've been working for over 17 that's scary. I've come to have many pet peeves but here's one for you office folks. Why on a Friday will you ask "So got any big plans this weekend?" then on Monday you'll say "So what did you do this weekend?" Well, how about I did what I told you I was going to do on Friday. I've just never understood this policy!!! Please don't ask me that twice. I doubt anybody that I work with reads this, but if you do please...that's just insane. Oh & don't do it now as a joke because it's not funny. It's one of many pet peeves and it's just plain stupid.

Everyday, I take our deposit to the bank. Rain/Shine/Sleet or Snow...I'm at the bank a minimum of once a day. I'm pretty familiar with the tellers there. So many have come & gone. Anyway, I realize it's hard to come up with stuff to talk about (I finally told one girl that we have dogs so we've broadened - is that a word- our subject matter). Well today, I just had nothing to say to this one teller. I wore a green shirt today and said teller goes "Oh so you've got your green on today". (insert crickets) Me "Hmm?" She repeated it. Me "Oh...yep" (inser more crickets) and I exited stage left. Sometimes, I just don't know what to say so I leave.

Thriller

So I debated about discussing Michael Jackson. Yes, he was such an icon and his death was sudden & tragic but it's everywhere. All weekend, they've had a video retrospective on VH1 Classic. When I saw the video Thriller, I laughed. Why? I'm glad you asked.

I remember being in 2nd grade in Pittsburgh, PA. My parents had gone out for the evening and my friend's brother (also my brother's friend) was old enough to baby sit us. So I thought it was so cool when he showed us the video...you know, back when MTV played videos....ONLY because we weren't allowed to watch scary things. I acted like it was so cool but the video scared me to death. I remember not being able to sleep that night until I heard mom & dad come home. I never mentioned it to my brother because I knew he'd make fun of me & I was already freaked out. Well yesterday, I saw the video. I kept thinking "why was I scared" but back then, that was the technology and it was so original.

I saw his Biography and it's sad how his legal troubles and weird surgeries overshadowed his music & dancing. Look back at some of his earlier stuff and it was so insane. Don't think I was the only one that thought he was so cute on the Thriller album or that I tried to do the Moonwalk. Now I'm also the same person that thought it was so awesome that George Michael and I both had pink shorts and liked to dance like a girl. Remember this was in the 80's and I was 9 or so. Cut a sister some slack.

Tink

I love to laugh. I love it more than anything in the world. I don't know if you've ever seen ANYTHING of Katt Williams, but I think he is hilarious. He cusses more than I breathe but he's funny. I must warn you that this clip has extremely vulgar language. I'm just going to post the link so if you have kids then they all need to be sound asleep dreaming of sugarplums or toy trucks...oh & maybe you need headphones on too. I can only warn you about the language. I don't care if your baby was born today, it's your fault if they see/hear this b/c you can't say I didn't warn you. Do you get that I'm warning you? I will not be held responsible if your baby says bad words.

Tink Tink

GNO

Tonight, I had a birthday GNO with some friends. My former roomate's birthday is the day before mine. So she, myself & another friend got together for dinner & we saw The Proposal. This doesn't reveal the movie, but it's the same plot as all movies like this: Boy & girl have to pretend to be in love, boy & girl actually fall in love but fight it, boy & girl have fight because truth is revealed, boy & girl make up. The end. That's the basic plot for all romantic comedies. BTW - I read that Sandra Bullock didn't want this to be called a romantic comedy. Guess what I just called it? A romantic comedy. Guess what else Sandy (Sidebar: I can call her Sandy as I am related to her. For real. My grandfather re-married her aunt in the 80's. In fact, Sandy sent them a Wii for Christmas. Right, because that's what the most awesome 93 year old with demaculate degeneration needs )...what was I saying? OH yes. Sandy...since you never come down here & I've been wanting to meet you because you're my step-grandmother's-sister's daughter, I'll call it a romantic comedy. There. I showed you.

Here's the kicker of the evening. When we got to the theater, it was PACKED. Because there were 3 of us, we were forced to sit in those seats that are so close to the screen that I felt like I was watching a tennis match. During the previews, I couldn't help but laugh as it reminded me of the last time I sat so clsoe to the screen. It was during Home Alone & I swore I'd never do it again. Cut to me being able to see if the actors had nose hairs at the age of 32. Oh on top of that, the guy next to my friend was making comments and pointing out obvious things. "Oh she's mad" or "Go kiss her". Crap like that. Now he wasn't gay, but an older man that was married so long his wife made him go to these things & he just learned to like it. My husband would rather cut off his leg than have to watch ANY type of chick flick. In fact, he'll take any action movie & try to point out the love story just to get me to watch it. Nice try, but I'm not falling for a love story in Rambo.

Moi

Today was my 32nd birthday. Above, well that's when I was in 5th grade and I could spend hours on my wardrobe in this picture. You can't tell, but the shorts have fish on them. Not just fish, but multicolored fish. Oh & I'm totally rocking the banana clip AND perm. I know you're jealous because at the time this picture was taken, I thought everybody was!! BTW - how un-lady like is that pose?!!! UH...not appropriate for a 10 year old.

I had a pretty good birthday. I had a chocolate muffin for breakfast. Yummy chicken salad sandwich & soup for lunch. The best was dinner with Chris, my parents and Amy & Adam. Nothing says fun like Mexican and Margaritas. Giggidy Giggidy Goo!!! Can you tell I like to eat? We all just laughed and had a great time. Amy & Adam came over and brought me a cake. It's the perfect tiny cake that I won't gorge on. As I have slacked in the exercise/diet department this week, I shall be back in the gym on Saturday mocking all the weirdos in the gym. You go girl? I just went & I'm back for cake.

Tradition

A few years ago, I started a tradition for my birthday. I know my mom does it too & I think it's a great idea so I'll share it. Who doesn't love cake? Well, if you don't then I feel sorry for you. Anyway, no matter what time you get up, you eat cake for your birthday for breakfast. Oh yes. It doesn't have to be a cake but a cake-like product. (i.e. brownie or cupcake) There has been a year or two where I've bought my cake the night before. Oh sure, I felt like a tool BUT the morning of my b'day, I wasn't regreting it at ALL!!! So tomorrow morning, I'm turning.....21. Yes. 21. That's right folks. Last year I turned 21 & this year I turned 21. I never age.

My husband is a chef. Well, he's on his way to becoming a certified Soux chef. He is doing an apprenticeship out at Ross Bridge. Sidebar - if you think you're clever with the Star Wars jokes, move to the back of the bus. When he first told me, I said in my best Yoda voice "Young apprentice you are". Yeah he told me to stop. Anyway, he is currently working with pasties etc so he made me a gigantic chocolate muffin (with chocolate chips). Don't think I'm not going to choke that bad boy down tomorrow with a glass of milk while saying "HOW U DOIN" like Rasputia from Norbit.

Literally...

I found the most hilarious, well to me anyway, thing on the internet today. It's a bunch of videos where they translate what's literally going on in the video. I cannot believe I didn't come up with this!!!!! While I watched a few, I loved this one the best. Why? Well, it's got the best mullet EVER in it and it's so dang random. The only thing missing is somebody tripping or getting popped in the face. I would've passed out, I swear. Anyway, here it is. Pay attention at the beginning to the random things they say. OH & I busted out laughing at the Dave Coulier reference. It tickled my fancy for real. I'm off to strangle my cat who won't quit biting my feet!!!

I tried to put the video here but it kept linking to some weird skating video so click here

That's what she said...

So I love The Office so much that it's just borderline obsession. If you don't watch it, then you're a tool and I'm not catching you up on it. Well, I have a bad habit at work of saying "That's what she said". In fact, I've made it so contagious with my lunch group that it's just a matter of beating the other person by saying. As sad as it is, I laugh JUST like Michael Scott b/c I think it's funny!! When it comes to everyday conversation, I try to fit in no matter how hard...

That's What She Said

Exercise

I got the brave idea to get my workout on at a local track that is about 5 miles long. I walked (and jogged a little - scary) a little over half of it but it was enough that I was drenched. I walked the last 3/4 a mile with my shoe bent because I was getting a blister. In order to take my mind off the pain AND the fact that I had to fiercly use the restroom , I noticed other walkers/runners/bike riders and had the following random thoughts:

• "Glad I'm not the only big girl getting my hustle on..yet I don't have a stick like her. I want one b/c I'd decorate it with glitter!!"
• "Where is that guy going, into the river that is really a stream?? It is hot so........oh snap he is totally going to the restroom like nobody is outside! I see you Jack!!!
• "Dude...please don't wear such short shorts. I don't want to see your twig & berries..eww!"
• "I wonder, when I jog, do I bounce like I'm on a pogo stick or do I just look like I have to use the restroom.........WHICH I DO!"
• "Why isn't their a restroom out here & why did I drink coffee before I came out here!!"
• "If I brought the dogs out here, they would bark at everything & Bear would probably take a big dump in the middle of the track"
• "Those guys are total TOOLS!! Spandex isn't cool no matter how skinny you are"
• "If I had a bike, would I wear a helmet...no way. I don't want to look like I ride the short bus..even though I probably do because my shoe is bent & I'm limping"

Perhaps I should workout like Lisa, Kelly & Jessie from SBTB. Oh yeah, I went there.
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